It should not be controversial to say we must care about boys and men. But in today’s culture wars, this statement risks being read as an endorsement of the argument that men are the victims of progress and gender equity policies — and feminism has gone too far. It is not.
Caring about boys and men is about the wellbeing of our society, considering that men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of various forms of violence — against other men, women and children.
Social scientist Richard Reeves argues that the conversation about men has been framed all wrong: as a problem located in individual failure rather than the structural and societal forces that shape norms, identity and behaviour.
Men are not a homogeneous group: individuals are influenced by the cultures, societies and the environments in which they were raised. More so violence is a multi-layered problem, and its drivers extend beyond individual circumstances.
Norms and cultural factors
We must start by looking at norms and culture. Everyday phrases like “be a man” may seem harmless, but they signal what manhood is supposed to look like — strong, in control, aggressive. These gender norms take root in the mundane and are amplified in the specific — in culture wars, online groups and other spaces where they harden into something more extreme.
When boys are socialised to suppress vulnerability, anger becomes their default emotional outlet, fuelling cycles of violence — especially in contexts of inequality and adversity. Addressing various forms of violence, including gender-based violence (GBV), therefore requires us to confront harmful gender norms as well as the emotional and psychological landscapes that shape behaviour.
For instance, boys that grow up without their biological father at home miss out on a primary male carer to model accountability, emotional regulation and non-violent behaviour. In many South African communities, this role can fall on “social fathers” such as uncles, coaches, teachers and neighbours. Positive social fathering is a powerful lever for shaping healthier masculinities and building safer communities.
Structural factors
Young children, irrespective of gender, are biologically sensitive to trauma and toxic stress, beginning in the womb when a pregnant woman is in distress or dealing with adversity. This is significant because early and repeated exposure to trauma and stress can disrupt emotional regulation and impulse control, with lasting effects on behaviour and decision-making. Without support, these patterns can persist into adulthood, predicting health, wealth and public safety outcomes.
These risks are compounded by structural challenges such as poverty, unemployment and access to support services. This results in poor mental health outcomes, including high suicide rates, substance abuse, and harmful coping mechanisms — factors that can reinforce cycles of distress and, at times, violence.
Heavy drinking also fuels violence in homes and communities. National survey data shows that nearly half of adult men drink heavily — which means they consumed more than five drinks in a single sitting in the past month. This drives violence in homes: almost half of all assaults, attempted murders and murders in this country take place in homes. This means that children are exposed to violence at home, even when they are not the direct targets.
Boys who witness violence are more likely to perpetrate it later in life. Breaking this cycle requires prevention across their life course, from early childhood into adulthood.
NGOs working with boys and men
Sustainable violence prevention depends on engaging boys and men in reflection, healing, and restorative justice, without excusing harm or diminishing survivors’ experiences.
Civil society organisations have long been at the forefront of addressing social challenges, from prevention to response and social justice. While engaging boys and men can be difficult, particularly given norms that discourage help-seeking behaviour, evidence shows that community-based approaches using dialogue, mentorship, and critical reflection can shift attitudes and help to reduce violence.
Long-term, gender-transformative interventions are effective. These approaches challenge unequal power relations and harmful constructions of masculinity. Lessons from HIV prevention efforts in South Africa show that sustained engagement with men can shift beliefs and behaviours in meaningful ways.
But lasting change does not come from isolated programmes. It requires coordinated efforts across schools, communities and government. Civil society is uniquely positioned to connect these actors and build integrated systems of care.
The declaration of GBV as a national disaster presents an opportunity to do just that; to create a coordinated ecosystem that addresses the social dynamics shaping young people’s lives. Yet progress remains slow. Responses are fragmented, collaboration is limited, and prevention initiatives are under-prioritised.
A shift is needed. Government, funders, and the private sector must invest in long-term, prevention strategies that engage both men and women. This means building a coordinated system of prevention and support that intentionally disrupts cycles of violence and reshapes the trajectories of boys and men.
Kgahliso Mangoale is the Project Lead for the Sukuthula! GBV Initiative at the DG Murray Trust (DGMT). She is a Public Health Specialist with expertise in youth and women’s health programmes. Malibongwe Nkunkuma is an Innovation Manager at DGMT. His work focuses on leadership development, strengthening networks and civil society organisations.
The Post originally published this op-ed on 16 September 2026.
